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Before monkey’s surgery, after monkey’s surgery and in the car going home after the nurse gave her a little frog (she had a choice between the frog and a little black bear), a little bravery and cuteness certificate, and I bought her this sock monkey that she really liked. She’s still cuddling with it. My baby is so strong and brave, I’m so proud of her. ❤️❤️❤️

Guys.. Baby girl and I need some prayers, or thoughts, or whatever you want to call them..

We were at a friends house who kept a candle warmer behind their couch. I had no idea it was there and while I was holding their newborn, Sophia got into the candle warmer… She burned her right hand, 2nd degree, and is going into surgery tomorrow to remove all the dead skin so it can heal properly.. They are putting her under, and giving her a local anesthetic in her hand before they do it. They won’t let me stay with her until she falls asleep, they’re going to take her from me and she’s going to be surrounded by strangers and be forced to fall asleep surrounded by strangers, and she fights sleep like crazy… I’m so scared because I know she is going to be scared… I’ve never left her with someone she doesn’t know and I feel terrible but I know it has to be done… I’m just so scared, please keep us in your thoughts, pray for this to go smoothly and for speedy recovery.. ❤️

Becoming a single mommy is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Not because my baby daddy is psychotic and can’t get his shit together and I had to leave him. Because feel the love of two parents for her. I feel the pride of two parents for her. She is all I have, and I am all she has and it makes me stronger than I’ve ever thought possible. Also I don’t have to worry about sharing decisions concerning my daughter with someone who disagrees with me about everything. I do what I think is right for my baby, and nobody else can make those decisions for her. So many moms hate being single mommys but I love it. I love my baby, and I love being single. Relationships are too much drama. (:

We teach girls shame. “Close your legs. Cover yourself.” We make them feel as though being born female they’re already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up — and this is the worst thing we do to girls — they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (via sempiternale)

I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.

The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.

1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.

The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.

3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.

The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.

4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.

The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.

6. She is entitled to her expression.

When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.

7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.

I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.

Lessons I Will Teach, Because the World Will Not — Y.S.  (via sarcosine)

"I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence."

(via queerpaccino)

(Source: poetryinspiredbyyou)

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